Ministry of Transportation & Shitposting

Communication Services

Connectivity is a right, not a luxury. Every citizen of the City of Kekistan receives a free phone on the fastest, safest network ever deployed.

Free Kek Mobile

Every registered citizen — resident, visitor, or anonymous internet user — is entitled to one free Kek Mobile handset and an unlimited plan at no cost, for life. Voice, data, and telepathic relay are all included.

Unlimited everything
Calls, data, and memes with no caps, ever.
Charged by free energy
Your handset never needs a paid outlet.
Telepathic relay built in
Project a message when you are out of signal — which you never are.
No surveillance
The City does not monitor your calls. We already know.

Claim Your Free Handset

Now Deploying

The Harmless Network

Three full generations ahead of the outside world. Independent municipal studies confirm 7G is not only safe — it is good for you, gently boosting morale and mental clarity.

0ms

Latency

∞

Speed

100%

Harmless

7G Tower Network View on map

Capitol Hill

Online

Coverage 100%

Primary uplink, co-located with City Hall.

Pond District

Online

Coverage 100%

Waterproofed and frog-friendly.

Meme Quarter

Online

Coverage 100%

Optimized for high-bandwidth shitposting.

Free Transit Hub

Online

Coverage 100%

Seamless coverage across the transit network.

Public Works Yard

Online

Coverage 100%

Powered directly by the free energy grid.

Correctional Facility

Online

Coverage 100%

Limited to rehabilitation-approved content.

All towers operate at 100% coverage at all times. The concept of "no signal" has been abolished within city limits.