For Immediate Emergencies
Police · Fire · Medical · Memetic Crisis
Police
Municipal law enforcement and public order.
Fire Department
Fire suppression, rescue, and hazardous meme containment.
Pond Rescue
Aquatic emergencies involving the city's self-sustaining ponds.
Meme Crisis Hotline
Round-the-clock support during declared memetic emergencies.
Cringe Control
Report active Cringe Events to the Department of Public Morale.
City Hall
Non-emergency municipal services and general inquiries.
Poison Control
Accidental ingestion of expired memes or non-potable pond water.
Frog & Animal Control
Report stray frogs, unauthorized ducks, and other pond wildlife.
Pothole Hotline
Report potholes and road defects to the Ministry of Transportation.
Free Energy Outages
Report any interruption to your unlimited free energy supply.
Pond Overflow Line
Emergencies involving over-sustaining or rapidly expanding ponds.
Lost & Found
Recover misplaced items, pets, and forgotten passwords.
Morale Support Line
Confidential support during periods of low civic morale.
Non-Emergency Police
Report non-urgent matters and submit anonymous tips.
Telepathic Distress Line
For citizens unable to reach a phone — simply project your emergency toward Capitol Hill.