Office of the City Clerk · Municipal Code
The complete and binding Municipal Code of the City of Kekistan. Every statute is published here in full, in the interest of total transparency. Ignorance of the Law is no excuse — but it is, frequently, very funny.
The Offense
No citizen shall post consecutive Ls in the public channel during a declared Morale Advisory. Taking the W gracefully is encouraged at all times.
Sentence
First offense: 30 days of detention. Repeat offense: 90 days and mandatory touch-grass therapy.
The Offense
Loitering near a municipal pond without genuine intent to fish is prohibited. Citizens are welcome to admire the frogs from a respectful distance.
Sentence
A stern but fair caution; a fine of 5 Keks on a second offense.
The Offense
Doomscrolling within a designated comfy zone is an offense against the public peace. Comfy zones are for being comfy.
Sentence
14 days in a comfy holding zone; chronic offenders are enrolled in a digital-wellness program.
The Offense
The distribution of original memes requires a valid Meme Posting Permit. Unlicensed distribution shall be prosecuted to the full extent of the Code.
Sentence · May Include Banishment
60 days and forfeiture of all unlicensed memes. Commercial-scale distribution carries permanent banishment from Kekistan.
The Offense
Commercial use of the Pepe likeness requires separate authorization from the Ministry of Flags & Heraldry. Disrespectful depictions are forbidden.
Sentence · May Include Banishment
Revocation of permit and a fine of 50 Keks. Disrespectful or defamatory depictions carry banishment from Kekistan.
The Offense
The manufacture of controversy for the purpose of farming engagement is prohibited. Honest discourse is the only permitted form of attention-seeking.
Sentence
45 days; repeat offenders face 6 months and probationary monitoring by the Shitpost Division.
The Offense
Posting a minion image during an active Level 3 Cringe Event carries a mandatory minimum sentence. Repeat offenders are referred to the Department of Public Morale.
Sentence
14 days mandatory minimum; up to 60 days if posted during a declared Level 3 Cringe Event.
The Offense
The posting of mid takes and low-effort content during peak hours is an offense against the comedic standards of the Republic.
Sentence
Review by the Office of Cringe Prevention and enrollment in a mandatory effort-posting course.
The Offense
The worship of Satan, the summoning of demons, the casting of curses and hexes, and all dark-arts practices are prohibited within the limits of the City of Kekistan. The Republic is a comfy and well-lit place, and shall remain so.
Sentence · May Include Banishment
Mandatory civic re-education and touch-grass therapy. Persistent or unrepentant practice carries permanent banishment from Kekistan.
The Offense
Citizens shall conduct themselves with good faith and reverence for the Most High. Faith is free, worship is voluntary, and kindness is the only worship the Republic ever truly requires.
Sentence
A gentle word and an open door. No citizen is ever sentenced for an honest heart.
The Offense
Every citizen shall display the city flag right-side up. Displaying the flag upside down constitutes Flag Disrespect.
Sentence · May Include Banishment
Civic re-education for a first offense. Deliberate desecration or burning of the flag carries banishment from Kekistan.
The Offense
Every citizen shall touch grass not less than once per fortnight. A medical Touch-Grass Exemption may be granted in documented cases, never as a matter of convenience.
Sentence
A friendly reminder, then the formal exemption process; a 10-Kek fine for willful avoidance.
The Offense
Every household shall keep its pond self-sustaining, clear, and free of unauthorized ducks. A neglected pond reflects poorly upon the household.
Sentence
Warning, then assistance from Public Works; a fine of 10 Keks for chronic neglect.
Certified true & binding by the Office of the City Clerk. The Municipal Code is updated as the Council sees fit.