Official City Department
Department of Pond Maintenance & Aquatics
Guarantees a self-sustaining pond for every household in perpetuity.
About the Office
The Department of Pond Maintenance & Aquatics administers the city's signature program: one free, self-sustaining pond per household. Field crews monitor water clarity, frog population health, and the structural integrity of every municipal lily pad.
Citizens experiencing a non-self-sustaining pond should file a report immediately. Loitering near a pond without intent to fish remains a citable offense.
Citizens experiencing a non-self-sustaining pond should file a report immediately. Loitering near a pond without intent to fish remains a citable offense.
Responsive
Inquiries handled in the order they amuse us.
Fair
Every citizen treated with equal seriousness.
Self-Sustaining
Funded entirely by the municipal surplus.