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An unofficial website of the City of Kekistan

Level 3
Level 3 Cringe Event Declared

Bureau of Permits & Licensing

Touch-Grass Exemption

A medical exemption from the mandatory fortnightly touch-grass requirement.

About this Permit

The Touch-Grass Exemption provides a temporary, medically reviewed exemption from the city's mandatory fortnightly touch-grass requirement. Granted only in documented cases and never as a matter of convenience.

Reviewed by the Office of Citizen Happiness, who would genuinely prefer you just touch the grass.

How to Apply

  1. 1

    Submit your application

    Send your details to the Office of Citizen Services through the application link.

  2. 2

    Review by the Bureau

    Your application is reviewed fairly, firmly, and in the order in which it amuses the reviewing officer.

  3. 3

    Receive your permit

    Approved permits are typically issued within one business day and recorded in the public registry.