Department of Corrections
Public Jail Records
A searchable public registry of detainees of the City of Kekistan, maintained in the interest of municipal transparency.
Sneed Frogsworth
Offense: Unauthorized Paid Energy Use
Incarcerated
Booked June 20, 2026
Sentence: 34 days of pond duty
Awaiting morale rehabilitation.
Sneed Memewater
Offense: Unauthorized Paid Energy Use
Incarcerated
Booked June 17, 2026
Sentence: 28 months of pond duty
Released on pond bail pending review.
Tabitha Rentfree
Offense: Living Rent-Free in Heads
Released
Booked May 10, 2026
Sentence: Released, still rent-free
Continued to occupy mental real estate without paying rent.
Vera Sealiox
Offense: Flag Display Without a Permit
Pending
Booked June 8, 2026
Sentence: Awaiting hearing
Flew an unapproved banner over the Pond District.
Winifred Malding
Offense: Public Malding
Released
Booked May 21, 2026
Sentence: Time served
Malded loudly upon losing a game of municipal chess.
Wojak Croakley
Offense: Bottled Water Possession
Incarcerated
Booked June 25, 2026
Sentence: 4 days of cringe rehabilitation
Awaiting morale rehabilitation.
Wojak Marshwell
Offense: Unauthorized Paid Energy Use
Incarcerated
Booked June 24, 2026
Sentence: 11 weeks of pond duty
Pleaded for mercy before the Ombudsman.
Wojak Toadvine
Offense: Off-Brand Meme Distribution
Incarcerated
Booked June 19, 2026
Sentence: 7 months of pond duty
Detained after a routine vibe check.
Zoomer Greenfeld
Offense: Posting Normie Memes
Incarcerated
Booked June 25, 2026
Sentence: 5 months of pond duty
Released on pond bail pending review.
Zoomer Memewater
Offense: Disrespecting the Book of Kek
Incarcerated
Booked June 22, 2026
Sentence: 1 days of mandatory morale training
Caught red-handed near the Great Pond.